Last Days


22 August 2012

My heart hurts over losing you
My heart hurts more because
Of what I did ….

23 August 2012

I sit in this empty house thinking about how I got here. My heart broken again, but this time because of my own sin.

30 August 2012

I had a beginning not too long ago, now it’s all gone. I did this to myself and can blame no one else. Living like a transient the darkness is calling me through the dulling pain, immerse myself in it finding no comfort for I allow myself none – only tormenting guilt and shame.

I am the cause, the problem for how I feel. Always, everyday this is how I deal. Craving all these devices chasing the illusion this addiction I will not escape. Nothing has changed it is all the same. Lying to myself and everyone round me because I can tell no one how it drives me insane. Watching myself fall apart wanting to do nothing to stop it. My soul is crying I feel it dying losing desire to just be … dominated by demons as I barely survive refusing to believe.

Madness overcomes me in my narrowing scope of reality. Wishing no one gave a fuck would make it easier to quit this existence in which I’m stuck. I don’t care about anyone, or anything … especially me …

I have love from family
I have love from friends
I had love from a woman

It all means nothing
It all ends …

Because I have no love for Self …

01 September 2012

The reason why it doesn’t work for me is because I do not love myself … I cannot love myself how can I love anyone else …

I am disillusioned with this experience … a long time ago. It’s not nothing impresses me only the end result is not as hyped as advertised … why is that?

I know the answer to that as well …

I will not miss being gone for I have kissed the lips of the succubus …

04 September 2012

It is hard not to contemplate suicide when it whispers so seductively in my ear. I hear it calling in my darkest sleep and is with me when I am awake. I would do anything not to feel this way …

All I have are my words no one wants to hear …

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~ by GothicGhetto on 2012/09/08.

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