Fragmented Dimensions


Fragmented Dimensions

I hear whispers of your god calling my name
telling me to rejoin the fold again
or is it just my insanity, indecision to remain sane
wrestle with my soul, fighting for
but never knowing the goal

wonder if it’d be better if my existence I just sold
truth be told, it’s still a no go far as my faith goes
belief for me isn’t real it’s just fake gold
repressing emotions that repeatedly unfold
regressing back to my nature that’s timeless old

tired and frayed is how I seem to stay
as my mind unwinds a little more each day
on dharma’s pathway, but distractions hold sway
controlling, in my shades of gray

where nothing changes, yet everything decays
like the corpse of the child inside
losing hope and no longer cries
whose tears now silent have all died

becoming dust lost in the lust of material gain
thinking it could provide the high
I might one day escape by

like Icarus I fell trying to reach the sun
the same one Apollo’s son tried to run
thinking that I was the one, now fallen
left contemplating this gun

I’m tired of just trying to hang on
make it to the next day, and then some
dealing with all that’s within me gone wrong
wonder if it’s just me with a loose screw all along

a sandwich just short of the picnic basket
what it is that keeps me an addict
to the way I’m living because I can’t get it
having compassion for all, but never given none

what hell is in store for me in this life I’m sinning
always starting over but never winning
I feel like I’m eternally stuck here at the beginning
forever it seems to me, never ending

my pen is the sword like the knife I want to end my life
sharp, it cuts deep like the ink I put in my skin
telling the stories of all my forsaken sins
pain and suffering that resurfaces once again

having to live being me, through these eyes see
what I long to believe, but can never conceive
that life is beautiful, understanding I cannot glean
until my existence one day will it cease
I hold false hope will soon be my release

living these choices I’ve made in this broken bed I lay
through my mind I flow as a shadow tortured, so torn
the forgotten one, lost to self-destruction’s war
this obsessive, depressive addiction I hold to the core

craving every second I stay
becoming so lost I cannot be saved
so to the darkness I succumb and cave

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~ by GothicGhetto on 2015/08/17.

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